my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
im such an asshole but im also a v kind-hearted person who likes making ppl happy and if i love u i will love u with all my heart and all my soul but then im also such an asshole
do you ever just get mad because you’re spending your only teenage years feeling like you want to jump off a cliff while other people are having the time of their lives and being in love and just being good at things and you’re just kind of there
Some things that should be acceptable by now:
- Girls having sleepovers with boys.
- Female nipples showing.
- Marriage equality and equality in general.
- Doing what you want with your body.
- Wearing what you want,
- Kinder eggs in America.
GOD DAMN IT IT HURTS SO MUCH WORSE NOW
But do you think Sam was there when it happened? Like, did he see everything but was unable to stop it?
Because that’s even worse.
so i just ordered a pizza from pizza hut and i added some special instruction
however when my pizza arrived i got this
no pizza hut…im afraid thats the star of david
hey what the fuck they didn’t do this for us when we tried it
okay woWIE YOU GUYS REALLY NEED TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE PANTENE DID A COMMERCIAL ABOUT HOW SHIT LABELS AGAINST WOMEN ARE AND ITS JUST SO GREAT WOWIE
|Me during the day:||I'm so fucking tired oh my God I can't wait to go to bed tonight|
|Me during the night:||Let's download the top 100 songs from the 90s and listen to them all while writing a novel and watching an entire season of something and maybe rearrange my room|
double standards disgust me. when a guy sleeps with a ton of women he’s a stud but when a girl sleeps with a ton of women she’s a lesbian
That was not the way I expected that sentence to end.
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
I’m sure that’s what he thought.